Sunday, August 2, 2009

Tuesday July 21st 2009

This day is a blur but after talking to friends and family they have filled me in a bit. 

My doctors husband who happens to be a doctor as well in the same practice- came in to see me. He said that we might be there for sometime. Depending on how the baby did and how I did. They were going to give me steroid shots in my bum cheek to help develop the baby's lungs just in case they had to deliver so that they would mature faster. The shots hurt- but at this point I was seriously beat up that another shot wasn't going to make any difference. And this shot was for her. So that made it worth every minute and then some. 

All I remember is sitting in that room. I had visitors come and go. I remember only starting to feel tired when visitors entered the room. But I was trying to stay alert and not be rude. :) The Magnesium was pumping through me and I was in a total daze. Wonderful friends and family came to see me. They brought me flowers, lip gloss, magazines, cards, and food for Daniel. We were so grateful. 

As day turned into night I started to feel scared and sad again. I thought about how my entire life I have always lived like I was dying. And at that very moment I was so thankful that I had done that. I promised myself that I would NEVER take anything for granted again. I thought about how it might cause conflict in my life because before any of this happened I already was always so emotional about stuff. Always living life to the fullest and at times crying myself to sleep thinking of what I would ever do if anything happened to my loved ones or myself. At that very moment I was there. The doctors and nurses seemed to sugar coat everything. They didn't want to cause any panic of course. But at one point I asked one of the nurses out right " I'm not going to die tonight, right?" "Not on my time." She said. I was relieved. 

I got a little bit of sleep that night. 


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