Wednesday July 22-2009

A lot happened this day. The usual monitoring, peeing in a cup to be measured by the nurse, blood being drawn, Magnesium being switched out, IV being filled, ordering breakfast and lunch. Drinking water- but not too much. They were monitoring that too. I guess if you drink too much fluids while being on Magnesium you could get too much water into your lungs and could die. ? So- they gave me one cup of water every like 5 hours or something like that. I was VERY thirsty! 

The Perinatologist came in and did an ultrasound on me to make sure that just in case they had to deliver that baby girl was okay to come out. Of course at this point if they had to deliver within 24-48 hours she would have to be in the NICU. Daniel and I decided that they were leaning more on the side of delivering me within that 24-48 hour range instead of keeping me on bed rest till she was a little bit older. What they were failing to tell us was that my body was going out. She needed to come out ASAP! The ultrasound looked really good. She was still happy inside and they checked to make sure that she wasn't in any distress. The doctor who did the ultrasound was very nice. I will remember him forever. 

My doctor came in that day. She told me that everything was going to be okay. She said that I would be giving birth in the next 24-48 hours. She apologized for everything being so rushed and she knew I was confused and scared. I cried. 

At around 12 or 12:30 that afternoon my nurse came in and asked about my last live birth. I told her that with Laila I was in active labor for an hour and a half and pushed for 10 minutes and she was out. Without an epidural! She told me that she was going to induce me and put me on Pitocin and hopefully I would have a baby within hours. She hooked me up and after about 20 minutes I was starting to feel real contractions. They weren't too painful yet. Just pressure. She kept coming in and checking the monitors. She had another nurse come in to look at something. The anesthesiologist came in and administered the epidural. She didn't start the drip because I wanted to wait until the pain hit. I remember the epidural hurting really bad. I cried. I just remember thinking- Oh my gosh, I have been beaten up! I had a bunch of IV's, shots for the steroids, this Magnesium stuff that was making me feel horrible, sleep deprivation, my blood being drawn every hour and anxiety! I hung my head and cried. Cried because I was so afraid that it was too early to deliver my lil babe. But I realized that at this point I didn't have a choice. 

The nurse came in and said that baby did not like the contractions or the Pitocin. They were going to take me off of it. My doctor came in and held my hand. She told me that they were going to take me into C-section before the baby started to get distressed. Her heart rate went down just a little bit and they just wanted to take all precautions. The best thing to do at this point was to just get her out as fast as they could. I agreed and then things got really hectic. Before I knew it there were lots of people in my room preparing stuff, sterilizing stuff, talking medical stuff that I could not understand. They wheeled me into a white room and some guy ( I am assuming the anesthesiologist) was up by my head warning me before they did anything down below because I could not see anything. They made Daniel get dressed up in scrubs so he could sit by my side and hold my hand.  In that white room there were all of the doctors, nurses, helpers, anesthesiologist, and 5-6 people from the NICU team. I swear like 15-20 people in the room. Dr. Necole and her husband Dr. Brian started to do their thing. 

All I remember was tugging and pulling, some pushing and voila baby was out. Dr. Necole said "Oh, she has so much hair!" Daniel peeked over. They gave the baby to the NICU team and they did somethings to her and then Daniel went away with her. I was left there and then wheeled into a recover room which I swear was a hall closet with a curtain. My nurse was so wonderful. Her name is Traci. I knew that she sincerely cared about me. I felt like I had known her forever. Like we had been friends forever. She watched over me and was very easy to talk too. She slipped me some Morphine to ease the pain. And that stuff made me so sick. I sat in recovery for about 2 hours. I was so sleepy. But she wouldn't let me fall asleep because the monitors would go off signaling that I was dead. :( And the beeping on the machines would wake me up. So I stayed awake trying to make conversation. All I wanted to do was close my eyes and sleep. My Aunt Noreen, Aunt Maggie and Daniel and Jake and Tara Bolin came in to see me in the recovery room. Daniel was so thrilled! He came in and told me all about our little tiny and how beautiful she was. "I'm going to go back and see her." He said. And left. I didn't care that I was alone in this hall closet. I was so happy to be alive and have my baby girl be okay. 

After 2 long hours of trying to keep my eyes open. The nice nurses who came on shift at 7 pm to take Traci's place wheeled me out of the closet and into the hall. I started to vomit all over the place. I was SO sick! They even wheeled me into the NICU to see my baby but I was puking the whole time. All I could do was look at her from afar. I was so sad. I was wheeled up to my recovery room and I had visitors coming in and out. I was talking to them with my eyes closed. I could not open them for the life of me. It was the weirdest feeling. It was somewhat awkward because to everyone it was like a "YAY! Congrats you had a baby!" And I was like "YAY! I am alive but my baby is in the NICU!" At the time it didn't seem like much of a celebration. But after the morphine wore off- I looked at it as a celebration as well. 

I slept okay that night. I wondered how I was going to do it. I wanted to see my baby but was too sick to go down there. Daniel went and spent some time with her. All night actually. He became good friends with the nurse and they chatted away into the wee hours of the night. He can make a friend anywhere. I love him. He was with our baby and I knew everything would be okay. 

Tuesday July 21st 2009

This day is a blur but after talking to friends and family they have filled me in a bit. 

My doctors husband who happens to be a doctor as well in the same practice- came in to see me. He said that we might be there for sometime. Depending on how the baby did and how I did. They were going to give me steroid shots in my bum cheek to help develop the baby's lungs just in case they had to deliver so that they would mature faster. The shots hurt- but at this point I was seriously beat up that another shot wasn't going to make any difference. And this shot was for her. So that made it worth every minute and then some. 

All I remember is sitting in that room. I had visitors come and go. I remember only starting to feel tired when visitors entered the room. But I was trying to stay alert and not be rude. :) The Magnesium was pumping through me and I was in a total daze. Wonderful friends and family came to see me. They brought me flowers, lip gloss, magazines, cards, and food for Daniel. We were so grateful. 

As day turned into night I started to feel scared and sad again. I thought about how my entire life I have always lived like I was dying. And at that very moment I was so thankful that I had done that. I promised myself that I would NEVER take anything for granted again. I thought about how it might cause conflict in my life because before any of this happened I already was always so emotional about stuff. Always living life to the fullest and at times crying myself to sleep thinking of what I would ever do if anything happened to my loved ones or myself. At that very moment I was there. The doctors and nurses seemed to sugar coat everything. They didn't want to cause any panic of course. But at one point I asked one of the nurses out right " I'm not going to die tonight, right?" "Not on my time." She said. I was relieved. 

I got a little bit of sleep that night. 

Monday July 23rd 2009

I woke up feeling really yucky. I had 3 kids including Laila to watch and I was just hoping that they were going to be nice to me that day because I was not feeling so hot. And of course- they were. They played nicely and colored quietly and even sat through a television show for me so that I could sit on the couch and wonder what the heck was going on with me. 

I called into the Women's Clinic and asked to have one of my Dr's nurses call me back. She called back and I told her that I had been feeling yucky, had heartburn, wasn't feeling right at all. Looking back on it now- what an idiot I must of sounded like. She was probably thinking- girl you "are" pregnant. So I just told her that I could just be experiencing normal pregnancy symptoms but wanted to know what I should do for the heartburn. She advised me to get some Zantac and Tylenol. Keep on the Tums and definitely get some Tylenol PM for the night time so that I could get some sleep. I got off the phone with her and texted Daniel.  Babe- could you do a drug run? :)

He came home about an hour later with drugs in tow and made me a sandwich. I could not eat it. I felt really nauseous. I took some Tylenol and Zantac for the heartburn. I thought maybe I was getting the 24 hour bug.  I started to get a cramp in my right chest area, right above the baby. After Daniel made my sandwich and left- I fed the kids lunch and went to put them down for a nap. Laila wanted Strawberry Milk and so I went into the kitchen to get her some and threw up all over the sink. Yikes! I definitely have the 24 hour bug I thought. 

After throwing up I started to feel worse. But I thought it was because I had just thrown up all of the meds that I just took. So- I re- took the Tylenol and the Zantac. I laid there for about an hour and did not start to feel better. All of a sudden I started contracting. Not like labor contracting because there was no pain just pressure. I started to time it. They were getting to be around 3 minutes apart. Weird- I thought. 

So I called the Women's Clinic again. Talked to the same nurse and I told her I threw up and was starting to maybe feel slight contractions. I was still thinking at this point that it was Braxton Hicks ( false labor contractions) she told me that if I felt like I needed to go in then to go. So- I did. 

I checked into Triage and the nurse kind of laughed at me and said "Oh honey, you aren't having a baby today. It sounds like you just have a bladder infection." "Oh, good!" I thought. So then she ran a test on me and came back and said that there were no signs of a bladder infection. But there was blood in my urine. My blood pressure had sky rocketed and she hooked me up to a monitor and could see that I was indeed contracting. She was puzzled, to say the least. So then she called the doctor. He came in and did a few more tests. One of the tests was called a Fetal Fibronectin test   http://www.babycenter.com/0_preterm-labor-test-fetal-fibronectin_1511.bc

it pretty much is a test that if it comes back negative then you WILL NOT go into pre-term labor anytime soon. And if it is positive then you have a 50/50 chance of going into Pre-term labor and they will put you on bed rest and monitor you. Well, the test came back NEGATIVE! 

The doctor was VERY puzzled! He checked me and I was dilated to a one. He gave me a shot of something that started with a T. To stop the contractions. She kept contracting. She was giving every one a sign that she was needing to come out because she was making me VERY sick. 

Everything kind of was a whirlwind from then on. The doctor ran a few more tests and then briefly told me that they were going to keep me in the hospital for a while on bed rest. He said that I had Preeclampsia which turned into HELLP syndrome. The final stage of it. The worst stage! To prevent me from having seizures they were going to hook me up and monitor me and then give me an IV with Magnesium running through it. He said it would make me feel very hot and like I had been hit by a bus. He said that more than likely I wouldn't remember much after being on Magnesium. Before I knew it- I was hooked up and was feeling exactly that.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_preeclampsia_257.bc

http://www.babycenter.com/0_preeclampsia_257.bc?page=2#articlesection3

I was sent up to Labor and Delivery and hooked up to monitors. I was completely oblivious as to what was going on. My husband stayed by my side and I tried to get some sleep. 

That night was rough. I was really confused. They gave me some Ambien to make me sleep but I was determined to stay awake because I was so scared. I thought of everything and everyone in my life. I thought of how it would feel to lose my baby or even have my husband and daughter lose me. Daniel stayed very positive the whole time because we were in a hospital and I was being monitored. He didn't ever express any negativity or sadness. That is why I married this man. He is my rock. He believed that everything was going to be okay. I on the other hand do remember looking over at him saying "Honey, I don't want to die." And he just held my hand and said " Babe, you wont die. We are in a hospital." I believed him and tried to sleep. 

Face Book Posting on Monday around noon 7/20/2009

Ximena - is at 31 weeks of pregnancy and this little one is not being as nice as lil Laila was. I cannot wait to be done..... God give me the strength!

I went to bed the night before on Sunday feeling yucky. I had been fine all day long and even had enough strength to start "nesting" on my bedroom. It needed a major cleaning out. So there I was re organizing, dusting, doing laundry etc. Looking back on it- it was kind of a blur. When I was done I told Daniel that I just didn't feel right and that I needed to take a bath in Laila's bathtub but was afraid that it would wake her up. I did it anyway. :) I just felt  achy, tired, stressed and sick. My whole pregnancy with Eisley had been pretty smooth for the most part so I was just thinking that since I was in my 31st week of pregnancy she was starting to get anxious. Well she was.... sort of. 

I had burning in my throat and my body just ached. So I figured that I had indigestion/heartburn. I am not a pill popper because I don't need them very often but I decided that if I wanted to get a goods nights rest then I would have to take some Tums, pop some Tylenol and have my lovely husband fluff up the Love Sac Bean bag so that I could plop myself on it. I got myself comfy on it and went to bed. That night I got up about 5 or 6 times to go pee but not much would come out. A few drops here and there. I thought nothing of it. I plopped myself back onto the Love Sac and fell asleep for the night. 

Picture Perfect

This is one of my most favorite pictures that I have ever taken. First of all, Grandma McCall doesn't like having her picture taken. So it was a privilege to allow me to shoot this one. And the smile on Grandpa's face is priceless. 

They have been happily married for 59 years! Now, that is the definition of True Love. 

We love and adore you two more than you will ever know. 

Zoo Fun!

One day we took Laila to the Zoo even though it was cold outside. We bundled her up! We had such a blast checking out all of the animals. We just can't get enough of this little munchkin. She is so much fun to be around! We were so blessed with such a well behaved, sweet and loving child. We love you baby girl! 

Winter Wonderland

Here are some pictures of us while sledding a couple of different times this winter. Enjoy!

Another attempt...

Hello there. Well, it is a New Year and my New Year resolution is to be an avid Blogger-along with a million other different resolutions. I am a total Blog Stalker and have finally realized that if I am going to stalk I need to be stalked as well. :) 

Wish me luck on this journey. Someday I hope to have a cool background, some color on my page, maybe get some pictures up and with the help of a dear friend, maybe she could help me get a friends tab going on the side of my page. That would be awesome! 

Thank you all for stalking me! What goes around comes around. Happy stalking!